Hello my name is Chloe Jasmine and I am addicted to sugar!
Friend of the magazine and all round good egg, singer, model and we think really should be an actress, Chloe-Jasmine investigated Juicy Oasis for her cure – an idyllic boutique luxury heath spa situated in rural Portugal. Far, far away from Michelin starred restaurants, vending machines and the Waitrose chocolate aisle.
Can one really live on juice alone………
To be totally truthful with you, I am a seasoned caffeine, sugar and nicotine addict, I smoke like it is going out of fashion (it is isn’t it!) I am also addicted clothes if we are confessing everything but this article is not about fashion darlings). I needed help.
Off I flew to Portugal and the welcoming Juicy Oasis, it is not a ‘spa hotel’ but rather a seven-day retreat journey designed to fully re-charge every aspect of your mental and physical health. Rarely if ever, do the words ‘luxury’ and ‘detox retreat’ go together, but at Juicy Oasis Boutique Health Retreat & Spa the two have merged beautifully.
The Juicemaster, Jason Vale, has served as an inspiration for my extremely health conscious and vegetarian family for the past 15 years or so, from back in the days when the popular perception of (When)”juicing” was commonly identified as a glass of pasteurised, “fresh” processed orange juice from the carton.
His incredible literature peppers their shelves in this perfect oasis of juice, yoga, calm and colonic irrigation. Jason has sold over 4 million books and is highly regarded as one of the most influential people in the world of juicing and health.
uicy Oasis is the ultimate, boutique health and fitness retreat, providing an intimate, tranquil and luxurious environment in which to unwind, lose weight, get fit and indulge in health.
The proof is in the wheatgrass and passionfruit pudding with Jason’s own personal story as testament. He tackled his asthma, psoriasis, eczema and hay fever and pounds of body fat with his carefully calibrated juices strictly developed with additions such as apple, avocado, beetroot, flax and hemp.
I Have issues!
The issue lies, ladies and gentlemen, that despite seeing all of this marvellous splendour, the only thought racing through my mind is, “Where on earth is my double espresso?” I have always required at least 5 doubles to kick start my morning. With a heavy heart and a ginger and beetroot shot, I make the crucial decision to relieve my mind of the brainwashing. Set in the depths of a conservation area without the signal to use my Uber app I accept the reason I came.
They say that everything happens for a reason. Well, quite frankly if I am meant to quaff large quantities of dandelion, chlorella, alfalfa, barley & oat juices – C’est la vie! I opt for the clear skin programme (primarily as it includes 5 Brazil nuts at “breakfast”). I chew on raw ginger with gusto and vigorously sprinkle Himalayan salt and cayenne pepper on the evening soup.
Jason makes detoxing a delicious juicy dream. His spirit, enthusiasm and appearance could be mistaken for that of a man in his 20’s. The reality of the situation is he is 46, sorry Jason (it was bound to surface one of these days over a Lemon Ginger Zinger).
The retreat offers scenic mountain hikes, spinning classes, volleyball, a 24-hour gym, saunas along with glorious yoga, juice workshops, out of the world massages and treatments. I met Karol from Monaco, who has dropped a cosmic 100 pounds on the regime in a mere matter of weeks.
Three juices a day and a soup for supper. Can I really adhere to this? My mini Snickers begs to be rescued from the shadowy depths of the hotel safe.
Gluten free, sugar free, dairy free and but thankfully most certainly not fun free life is not all gloom and doom. Not one guest complains of hunger pangs.
Sparkly eyes and radiant health shining from others spur me on. Tales of relieved pain, snoring, cat allergies, perfect skin are recited and mentally registered.
After 7 days I am feeling super shiny, clear skinned, all brand new and a firm believer in ‘Being the change we want to see in the world’. Juice away darlings!
HOW TO BOOK
All bookings are Saturday to Saturday, include a number of activities and all your juices for the week. For more information on the retreat and what’s included, you can either check availability or book your place at Juicy Oasis through the easy-to-use online booking system. juicyoasis.com/booking
THINGS SHE TOOK WITH HER
1 hat, 5 day dresses, 3 ball gowns, jewels, shades, a sense of humour and her full range of Julie Pawson Skincare
Beautious CANDLES to burn at night by the hot tub with a herbal tea.
Prismatic gold technology foundation which creates a delightful gold finish. You may be detoxing but it’s always nice to glow from within and out.
THINGS THAT WERE CONFISCATED ON ARRIVAL………
Ciggies, caffeine and a jam packed chocolate hamper from Fortnum & Mason!